Two different wavelenghts

On Monday morning when my son asked me to taking him shopping the afternoon, I said, “No, I might need to go to hospital.” Clearly we were operating on two different wavelengths. He was concerned about getting more POKEMON cards and I had my own health in mind.

As it turned out, I didn’t need to go to hospital. My local doctor said the symptoms I had were caused by a virus. She suggested a dose of TAMIFLU might help, but in the end she didn’t give me a prescription because drug had the potential to interfere with the other medications I take.

So in the end she just told me to rest. At home I lay down and had a sleep before getting up mid-afternoon to pick my son up from school. Again, he asked me to take him shopping. I said this was impossible because I wasn’t feeling well.

He went ballistic, claiming I had promised to take him shopping. I was unable to remember if I did do this or not because the stroke I had affected my short-term memory. Regardless, I remained firm in my resolve not to go to the mall.

In the car, my son cried and cried. Finally, I told him the doctor had told me to rest, and he told me a friend had given him money to buy more POKEMON cards for him. We reached a compromise, I’d rest more on Monday afternoon, and I’d take him shopping on Tuesday afternoon.

The breakdown of a marriage

I am fortunate because my wife stuck by me when I became ill. This is remarkable because she had to endure a lot of anxiety each time I went to hospital. Perhaps the worst time was when my son had to go to hospital too because his asthma flared up when I was hospitalised. Yet she was always there for both of us.

But what might have happened if this wasn’t the case? Can illness cause the breakdown of a marriage? If so, what type of illness?

To find some answers, I did a bit of research. I typed “causes of separation” in to Google.  The first item listed on results page was from eHow.com, the ultimate authority on all matters of importance. I discovered only five issues trigger breakup:

1. Money.
2. Infidelity.
3. Communication.
4. Addictions.
5. Sex.

This means only one type of illness is a major cause of separation and that is addiction. So if an ill dad is addicted – to alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex or whatever – then there is a good chance his marriage might breakdown. And one obvious way separation can occur is when he enters a residential rehabilitation program.

While I can only imagine the difficulty of such a situation, separation from the children of the relationship must compound the problem. To suddenly not be able to tell a bedtime story or kick a football together must be incredibly hard. Whether or not the marriage survives, the father child relationship will change forever.